I Asked 17 Real Women What They Actually Want This Valentine’s Day

‘I just don’t know what she wants.’
‘Women are so hard to understand.’

Gentlemen, we’ve heard this monologue. We could perform it ourselves at this point, complete with the theatrical sigh and the distant stare into a glass of something brown.

And look, this isn’t a bootleg chapter of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. We are not planets requiring intergalactic diplomacy. We are not encrypted files. We are not a Rubik’s cube with a YouTube tutorial titled ‘HOW TO SOLVE WOMEN IN 5 EASY STEPS!!!’

We’re people. With sentences. That we say. Out loud.

In the spirit of public service (and because I’ve spoken to a number of very real, very articulate women who are tired of being cast as unsolved mysteries), here’s what many of them actually want this Valentine’s Day, and, frankly, most days.

First: Listen

Not the ‘uh-huh, wow, that’s crazy’ listening while scrolling through fantasy football stats. Real listening. The kind where, three weeks later, you remember that she mentioned loving peonies. Or that her back’s been killing her since that chaotic presentation. Or that her best friend just bought a roti maker and she laughed about it for ten full minutes because adulthood is weird and domestic appliances are suddenly thrilling.

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You know what’s romantic? Context.
You know what’s seductive? Retention.

It shouldn’t be revolutionary that when a woman talks about her long day – the co-worker who went behind her back and took credit for her work, the cab ride from hell, the existential spiral over lunch – she’s not delivering filler content. She’s handing you clues.

Also Read: Love On The Menu: India’s Valentine’s Day Hotspots

Second: Use The Information Well

Not ‘women like chocolate,’ but she likes “this” chocolate because she once said it reminded her of a trip she took in college. Not ‘dinner somewhere nice,’ but the quaint little café tucked inside that park she bookmarked six months ago and forgot about.

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Honestly, guys, romance is not about budget a lot of times, it’s about attention.

A woman I spoke to said, ‘I don’t need a grand gesture. I just want to not have to plan my own Valentine’s Day.’ Another said, ‘Ask me how I am! And then let me answer.’ One very practically told me, ‘Honestly? Just take the kids to school without me having to run out of the loo in the middle of “business” to remind everyone what time it is.’

Revolutionary stuff.

Third: Emotional Labour Is Not An Invisible Superpower

Many women don’t want diamonds. (Some do, and that’s perfectly fine too) But what most of them want alongside any sparkle is partnership. They don’t want to be the Chief Operating Officer of Feelings. They don’t want to manage the social calendar, remember your mother’s birthday, prompt you to text your own friends back, notice the bins are full, and gently suggest that booking a table before 7pm on February 14th might be wise.

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They want initiative. They want shared responsibility. They want to feel accompanied, not managed.

And here’s the part no one says loudly enough – women are not hard to understand.

They are often just tired of not being heard.

So this Valentine’s Day, try something radical? Think back over the past month. What was she talking about while she made your favourite pasta and you were busy laughing at a reel your friend sent? What annoyed her? What made her light up? Start there.

Also Read: The Hermès Hierarchy Decoded

And if you’re still confused, if your wife is one of the 17 women who sat down with me and very clearly explained what she wants this V-Day, then, just read this article. She has already spelled it out for you. It does not get simpler than that.

Because the truth is, romance has never been a guessing game. It’s about paying attention. The answers have been in the question all along.

What Women Really Want This Valentine’s Day

‘I still call him my boyfriend. Can’t help it. We just got married and we’re launching a brand together — life is a beautiful mess right now. This V-Day, I want him to surprise me with the little things again. The ones he used to do when he was still trying to win me over. Spoiler: he already did. But I want him to keep trying anyway.’

—Prerna Gupta, Co-founder & CCO, Rotoris

‘If you’re waiting all year for something special on Valentine’s Day with your partner, you’re doing this wrong. My husband knows I love quality time, so any date night is time spent together doing something we both enjoy – could be cooking dinner together or going out to one of our favourite restaurants or catching a football game ( if it’s the weekend, IYKYK ). The essential gifts – flowers ( Lilies or Dahlias ) and the Rangbhari dark chocolate coated strawberries which I’m currently obsessed with.’

—Tanya Bhardwaj, Chief Brand Officer And Co-Founder, The Grammar Room

‘For this Valentine’s Day, I desire emotional stillness. My life is in constant motion: rehearsals, performances, travel and stage energy have become rhythmical, so much so that I have forgotten how to pause. I want a day of no performance, no expression, no response. I simply want to sit with my thoughts, my people and my own silence. For me, love is not about doing more, but about allowing myself feel unencumbered by distractions. That space of quiet just to be feels most meaningful right now.’

—Apeksha Niranjan, International Bharatnatyam Artist

‘I would love to have a lovely meal with all my friends in a pollution free garden replete with laughter and cheer.’

—Manjula Tiwari, Managing Director & CEO, Ancestry

‘Truth be told, with age, maturity, and responsibilities my dreams have sobered down and met with reality. So, if I can just have a day where I don’t have to solve crisis for my kids or husband, and maybe manage a spa and dinner out somewhere like at our favourite ‘Elan’ at the Lodhi, I’d consider that the best Valentines gift ever.’

—Nzanmongi Jasmine, Associate Professor of English, Delhi University

‘While the Alter/Ego Large Tote from Coach is tempting, my heart leans elsewhere. If my husband happens to see this, I’d love to return to the romance of the Royal Caribbean cruise from Singapore to Malaysia—one of our most cherished escapes.’

—Ruchi Jain Wakhloo, Hotelier And Head of PR & Marketing, The Imperial Delhi

‘A classic Chanel flap bag is always tempting, but this Valentine’s Day I would love to go full cliché. My husband & I have never been big on celebrating Valentines for the last 11 years of our marriage, so this year I wouldn’t mind going all in with flowers, wine and an intimate dinner with unrushed moments, meaningful conversations, and the luxury of being fully present with each other!’

—Maya Varma, Co-Founder And Chief Brand & Product Officer, Joker And Witch

‘This V-day and everyday, I want my 8 hours sleep. Thank you! As for gifts, yes, my birthday flowers are still fresh. No, that does not mean we are done here. There is always room for more flowers. Any day, but especially on Valentine’s Day. The more, the prettier. Flowers, please.’

—K. Ashuni, Senior Producer, EMPC, IGNOU

‘My idea of Valentine’s Day is slowing down in a space where design, wine, and food are intentionally curated. An Italian castello with high ceilings and stone walls overlooking a family owned Tuscan vineyard, pasta loaded with truffle and a serious bottle of Barolo is what I’m putting out into the universe.’

—Rhea Parekh, Vice President Of International Marketing, Sternhagen

‘This Valentine’s Day, I don’t find myself wishing for another bag or bouquet. I find myself wishing for time, with myself…’

—Ruchi Raj, Image Coach & Founder, Poised Presence

‘Honestly? I want things to feel easy. No pressure, no performative romance. Just good energy, real conversations, laughter, and time with the person I love. Being present, feeling connected, feeling like myself. That, to me, is the best kind of Valentine’s Day. That’s the kind of love that lasts.’

—Deeksha Rajani, CEO And Founder, @Be.

‘Honestly, this Valentine’s Day, the thing I want most is something I’m giving myself! Growth! Growth in my work. In my vision. In the way I move through my own journey.’

—Prbhjiit Maniktala, Founder, Vazaneh

‘This Valentine’s Day, I’m choosing stillness. As a business owner, my days are often busy and rushed, and work usually comes first. Along the way, taking time for myself gets pushed aside. What I want most is slow time, real conversations without phones, and the chance to be fully present. Because true connection with others and with yourself never goes out of style.’

—Kritika Lalchandani, Founder And CEO, Apostrophe Communications

‘I won’t say no to diamonds, but this Valentine’s Day what I really want is time…time to slow down, reflect, and feel fully present. Luxury, for me, is no longer about objects; it’s about space, intention, and choosing myself without guilt. It’s the freedom to be unhurried and to honour what truly feels meaningful.’

—Ananya Goenka, Founder And Creative Director, AGB

‘A bigger family, a longer vacation, or even a carefully curated collection of antiques and keepsakes—these are the things that bring a sense of fulfilment. And it’s easy to see why! “More” truly feels like “more” when it’s surrounded by love.’

—Shifaa Kalra, Architect

‘Love encourages us to live a little more. From sharing it to the people around us, to finding it in the things that surround us—love gives us a reason to do things the way we do. It is freedom, joy and an unapologetic expression, all entwined into one…It is both in grandma’s gifted chinaware and a personally commissioned artwork. This Valentine’s day, I want to cherish those tiny little gestures that go unnoticed.’

—Punam Kalra, Creative Director, I’m The Centre For Applied Arts

‘What I want most this Valentine’s Day is time — unhurried, undistracted time with the people I love. As life gets busier, you realise the rarest luxury isn’t a gift, it’s presence. A quiet meal, meaningful conversation, and the comfort of simply being together feels more valuable than anything else. For me, love today is less about grand gestures and more about creating small, peaceful moments that stay with you long after the day ends.’

—Shikha Bhasin, Founder, Madihah Home

‘I am dying to get my hands on the yet to launch Luna Band (to focus on my heart with the HRV, VO2 type metrics, and I also want a Higher Dose PEMF and NIR Recovery Mat here in India for muscle recovery! Not to mention an entire wardrobe from Jacquemus’s new collection!’

—Dr Kiran Sethi, Founder, Isya Aesthetics

Okay, okay. We’ve dropped all the wisdom bombs. But if you’re still confused, here’s a little gift cheat sheet.